• Ripple (XRP)
    Media,  Ripple

    Fortune uncovers secret way to buy Ripple’s red hot XRP

    In case you needed to know

    Wanna buy Ripple’s XRP, the cryptocurrency that has rallied nearly 19,000 percent in 2017? Just follow these super simple steps: Open an account on Bitstamp, Kraken, or Gatehub. Fund the account. Use that account to buy XRP. Get a job as a writer for Fortune. Ask yourself, “How can we do an online post that will kill it on SEO?” Say, “I have an idea! Ripple is hot right now. We should write a piece called, ‘This Is Your Guide to Buying Ripple’ but don’t put anything of substance in it.” Write the piece with very little substance, other than noting that maybe one day Coinbase might allow people to…

  • predictions crystal ball
    Bitcoin,  Media

    More pointless bitcoin price predictions are here just in time for 2018

    It’s the last week of the 2017, which means it’s time to get inundated with silly bitcoin price predictions for 2018! When it comes to bitcoin, few things are as worthless as Wall Street analysts’ prognostications. For one, you have an asset solely priced on volatile supply and demand. While total supply is known, how much can and will hit the market is anyone’s guess, so long as that number is under 17 million coins at any given time. On the demand side, retail appetite, regulations, and the influx of institutional money are also all up in the air. Yet analysts need to get paid and what better way to…

  • Bitcoin

    Comedian accurately portrays bitcoin fanboys with painful precision

    J.P. Sears, who usually mocks yoga instructors and shallow “spiritual” types, sets his sites on bitcoin hypers.  Money quote: “Being a bitcoin advocate is like the veganism of financial world. You’ll find out where I stand on the matter within 11 seconds of meeting me and you’ll find yourself appropriately belittled if you don’t feel the same way about it.”

  • Innovators

    Drink company sees stock soar after name change because people are stupid

    The place that gave us Joey Buttafuoco is giving the world another reason to ridicule it. Long Island Iced Tea Corp., a soft drink company, saw its stock more than triple on Thursday after it changed its name to Long Blockchain. We will be patient while you beat your head into a concrete wall after reading that previous sentence. Done yet? No? O.K., just get a bandage and some aspirin and we will try to continue. As we were saying, a company that sweetened water has found a way to lure imbeciles to give it money: a name change that evokes the cryptocurrency revolution. “Long Island Iced Tea Corp. (NasdaqCM:…